He bears me patiently

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side;

Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to thy God, to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

~

I was reminded of this hymn today. It has always been one of Aaron's favorites. Now, mine as well. I haven't written of Aaron's condition much. I think in large part because it is something I just walk through each day. Tonight though, I saw clearly one lesson God is teaching me through it. One way He is molding my heart.

Today was long. It was a good and full day; just very draining. It was late afternoon when we got back home after leaving early this morning. Dinner time came quickly. I went to the kitchen ready to tackle the duty. Aaron was asleep on the sofa. Now, once upon a time I would have been a little put off that Aaron wasn't in there to help, both of us being worn out, after all! Today though, I was very aware of how tired he was and that, even if I am six months pregnant with our 5th child, my fatigue is very different from his. Yes, my body is weary. But it does not painfully fight against every step I take. I don't have to mentally overcome my pain to keep moving forward. It was a perspective that wasn't focused on myself. That was pretty exciting to me! I pray often that God would tear away my selfishness. He is!

Really, I guess there was another lesson to see tonight. Because of this disease, I am also becoming more dependant on God emotionally. As I was cooking dinner, I put in worship music. Any emotional weariness was laid before God. He is drawing me closer to Him. Emotional battles are not always so big any more. Peace is much more abundant.

Both Aaron and I have our pain to patiently bear regarding his PLS. His is much more physical than mine. However, in this change God certainly has remained faithful. He will remain faithful.

~

Be still my soul, thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence, let NOTHING shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul, the waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

~

Be still my soul, the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointments, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul, when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.